Age and Big Moments.

So many times in the past couple weeks the idea of age has come up. For one I bring it up because I’m going to be 25 this year and as I’ve said I’m semi terrified. I have this idea that I’m supposed to be at a certain point in my life at this age. That I should be started in a good career. Moving closer to marriage and settling down. I am at none of these points. I have no serious relationship, don’t even have a full time job and while I am ready to settle down I am in no way in a rush to do so. Where does this leave me…because I’m pretty sure it throws off the plans I had for the rest of my life. All my plans seemed to be based on age and if I hadn’t reached these by that age I wasn’t successful. What I am coming to realize though is aging without reaching these ideas isn’t such a bad thing. I couldn’t imagine being married right now. I’ve been able to do things I never would have if I was married right now. I realize that my ideas where based on what I perceived to be the norm that it’s what every girl does. I focused too much on that instead of everyone has a different life and different experience. What’s good for one doesn’t work for the other. Turning 25 doesn’t seem so scary anymore, I don’t wish to be younger. I have had a wonderful life so far but there are parts of it I am fine not reliving. That I am getting wiser and starting to make better choices in my life. I’m learning about who I am really and what I want in my life. I’m starting to realize the people in my life who contribute to me as a person and those that take. I’m learning my boundaries. Then I came across this article yesterday “5 Reasons Getting Older Rules” With every point I could think of something I was glad I made it through, something that I didn’t have to do again, was freed to live the way a 24 year old should. It reminded me that for some people getting older is better and I’m fully realizing that is me. I don’t want to be scared of the aging process. I want to embrace it. I don’t want to look back and say I lived my 20’s in the past. Wishing for a better day or waiting for my big moment. As one of my all time favorite authors Shauna Niequist points out in her book Cold Tangerines “Life is a collection of a million, billion moments, tiny little moments and choices, like a handful of luminous, glowing pearls.” I’m learning to appreciate all the small moments and not thinking that the next one will be the big thing I’ve been waiting for all my life. Because just 7 years ago I would have told you graduating from college would be the big moment in my life. The moment everything would have changed. Truthfully, things did change I had no more homework and I went on a cruise. Then I entered what people call the ‘real world’ which I’ve always hated because in college I lived in the real world. I just had different priorities. No big moment, no joyous occasion happened after college. But I can look back and remember a multitude of small moments that are just as important. Slowly, each ones of these moments, occasions changed my life. I’m a firm believer in God putting people and things in our lives at certain moments. I can see that clearly with a couple people and moments in my past. I’m thankful for these moments. At the time I obviously didn’t know how much they would mean but today I remember them fondly. And its definitely a “handful of luminous, glowing pearls.” So with this handful of pearls I welcome this time and age in my life. And I’m looking forward to what else awaits in my future!

 

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