Still Letting Go…

Seems this is harder than I thought. I wrote a couple post ago that I was learning to live and let go. Well I’m definitely learning to live…the letting seems to be the hardest part. I have a hard time just realizing that sometimes people do not want to be in your life and it’s ok. That I didn’t do anything wrong. Some of my favorite life lessons come from Madea … This is probably the one that has hit closest to home for me. Because I hold on to everyone way to long and usually I end up hurt…

“If somebody wants to walk out of your life, let – them – go!”

“Some people are meant to come into your life for a lifetime, some for only a season and you got to know which is which. And you’re always messing up when you mix those seasonal people up with lifetime expectations.

I put everybody that comes into my life in the category of a tree. Some people are like leaves on a tree. When the wind blows, they’re over there… wind blow that way they over here… they’re unstable. When the seasons change they wither and die, they’re gone. That’s alright. Most people are like that, they’re not there to do anything but take from the tree and give shade every now and then. That’s all they can do. But don’t get mad at people like that, that’s who they are. That’s all they were put on this earth to be. A leaf.

Some people are like a branch on that tree. You have to be careful with those branches too, cause they’ll fool you. They’ll make you think they’re a good friend and they’re real strong but the minute you step out there on them, they’ll break and leave you high and dry.

But if you find 2 or 3 people in your life that’s like the roots at the bottom of that tree you are blessed. Those are the kind of people that aren’t going nowhere. They aren’t worried about being seen, nobody has to know that they know you, they don’t have to know what they’re doing for you but if those roots weren’t there, that tree couldn’t live.

A tree could have a hundred million branches but it only takes a few roots down at the bottom to make sure that tree gets everything it needs. When you get some roots, hold on to them but the rest of it… just let it go. Let folks go.” -Madea via SugarPatch.com

So I gotta let go of the leaves. I think my issue is that I hold them to the lifetime people expectations. But I’m learning and I believe that is what my 20’s are all about. So I’ve got 5 more years … and I think I’ll be ok. I sometimes wonder if I am the only one who struggles like this, that struggles to let go when I know it’s best for me. Am I the only one? I find it hard to believe that I am…

I’ve lined up my next list of books for when I finish The Hunger Games. I think I’m going to start with Les Miserables by Victor Hugo. I won’t lie I mainly want to read this book because I’ve been on a HUGE One Tree Hill kick lately (it’s all Netflixs fault because they put season 1-8 on for instant streaming) and Hailey has one of her students read the book. One of favorite quotes come from that episode “He who does not weep does not see.” I don’t know why it resonates so much with me but it does. And I can’t wait to read the book.

The next book will be “A Confession” by Leo Tolstoy. I was watching a video the other day and Kelly Clarkson was talking about a book that she had read recently  and she mentioned this one. She said she spent a lot of her 20’s searching for who she was and asking questions about her faith…which is kind of where I am right now. So I’m going to attempt to read this book. Not sure how it’ll turn out but I think it’s worth a try for me.

Enough deep stuff for the day. I’ll be back later this week with bridal shower food plans and ideas.

Fall is here!

I finally feel that Fall is here. The weather is cold for a few days in a row. The trees are all changing colors. And I LOVE IT! Fall is my favorite time of year. I think because it means my birthday is almost here (at almost 25 I still get really really really excited about my birthday…lame? NOPE) Fall also means fall comfort food. Pumpkin in almost anything you can put pumpkin in and apple cider is a must. This year I’m trying some new things I’ve found on the internet and thanks to working at a culinary school I find myself looking at food blogs quite often.

The first is a pumpkin apple bread. It just looks and sounds amazing. You can find it here at A Chow Life! I love bloggers like this. One day I’d like to be a blogger that says something people care about haha. I think this bread just looks so good and great for a rainy rainy day here in Indianapolis. Something about it makes me think of home. Full hearty food. mmmmmmhmmmm.

I also really love tomato soup and grilled cheese this time of year. It seems like every year I go on a about a 3 week span where that’s all I want to eat. So this year I found a fabulous idea for tomato soup with the cheese broiled on top from Smitten Kitchen. Now I’m a huge fan of french onion soup so to do the same type of thing with tomato soup is GENIUS! I can’t wait to try this in the coming weeks. I’ll let you know how it turns out.

And lastly a website I think everyone should know The Pioneer Woman. She has a little bit of everything on her website. She has a book that I’ve started reading and I really like. Being from a country home and rural living I appreciate home cooked meals. I appreciate full and hearty meals. I want to provide the type of home environment my mom and grandma provided. I love cooking for others and seeing them enjoy my creation. There is just something about providing people with food that feeds the soul as well. I absolutely love it.

The Binds That Hold Us

My mind works in a funny way sometimes. It forms attachments to the wrong people and I find myself having a feeling a need for them in my life. A need to know they ‘care’, a need to know they haven’t ‘left’ me. I wish I had an easy answer or solution for why I continue to build these attachments or binds with people but I don’t. So as I approach what I consider a major milestone in my life I’m still on track of learning to “live and let go.”

I’m learning to live my life for me. and to myself be true. I’m getting a reminder of this on my side soon and I couldn’t be more excited about this tattoo. People may give me crazy looks but a tattoo is something personal to me. And this particular tattoo represents so much in my life right now. I’ve been bad about pleasing others. Almost to the point of being unhappy myself. To the point of giving more than I should be willing to give with nothing in return. So to myself and to my standards I have to be true. I also worry about others judging me for what I do and I shouldn’t. That shouldn’t bind me to staying in a box just because it’s what people think I should do. I hate the fact that I’m about to be 25 and still worry about being judged by others. BUT with realizing comes change. and the change will be good.

Here’s what is changing:

1. No worry about being judged by others

2. Accepting myself and going a little easier on myself

3. Creating my list of things I don’t do. And being ok with it. I’m not superwoman.

4. Celebrating each day because hey its a day and I’m alive

5. Focusing on the good things happening not the bad.

6. Knowing that I’ve found what I want to do and being happy in that decision.

This is just the start. 🙂

I believe I’m supposed to be happy so I’ll live happy. And I’ll live my life not the one that has been bound by worry and stress and pain and heartache.