My mind works in a funny way sometimes. It forms attachments to the wrong people and I find myself having a feeling a need for them in my life. A need to know they ‘care’, a need to know they haven’t ‘left’ me. I wish I had an easy answer or solution for why I continue to build these attachments or binds with people but I don’t. So as I approach what I consider a major milestone in my life I’m still on track of learning to “live and let go.”
I’m learning to live my life for me. and to myself be true. I’m getting a reminder of this on my side soon and I couldn’t be more excited about this tattoo. People may give me crazy looks but a tattoo is something personal to me. And this particular tattoo represents so much in my life right now. I’ve been bad about pleasing others. Almost to the point of being unhappy myself. To the point of giving more than I should be willing to give with nothing in return. So to myself and to my standards I have to be true. I also worry about others judging me for what I do and I shouldn’t. That shouldn’t bind me to staying in a box just because it’s what people think I should do. I hate the fact that I’m about to be 25 and still worry about being judged by others. BUT with realizing comes change. and the change will be good.
Here’s what is changing:
1. No worry about being judged by others
2. Accepting myself and going a little easier on myself
3. Creating my list of things I don’t do. And being ok with it. I’m not superwoman.
4. Celebrating each day because hey its a day and I’m alive
5. Focusing on the good things happening not the bad.
6. Knowing that I’ve found what I want to do and being happy in that decision.
This is just the start. 🙂
I believe I’m supposed to be happy so I’ll live happy. And I’ll live my life not the one that has been bound by worry and stress and pain and heartache.