Another New Year.

This is my New Years post as I’ll be in Milwaukee from here on out celebrating Alyssa and Jeff!

I’ve had a very very contemplative week. Like inside my own head trying to figure out just what is going on up there and what I’m supposed to do about these feelings. I started looking over my old blog post, like about moving to Indianapolis and just some of my struggles. It’s crazy how my mindset has changed. I find myself to be very hard on me. I carry guilt for things I shouldn’t carry guilt about. I carry responsibility in a lot of situations when I shouldn’t. I try to fix situations that can’t be fixed. I can only apologize and be beat down so much before I start to believe what they say. I’ve seen myself change into a more confident woman. Who knows she has made mistakes and will fess up to her mistakes BUT will not be guilted into being someone she isn’t. I’ve realized where my heart is and that I was running from something when I moved. It was a necessary move. I’m not sure I would have learned these things where I was and I had to experience life like this before I could fully appreciate the life I’m moving on to.

Sometimes as an adult I think I shouldn’t make mistakes. I age myself well beyond 25 with some of the standards I’ve been holding myself too. I let my emotions get the best of me and I let others control my moods. This is the time in my life where I’m settling into my own skin and who I am. I’m learning to change how I react to people. This is the time in life to celebrate the opportunities I have and the changes I can make. I’m not set in stone!

So for this new year, for 2012 I’m not going to make any bold predictions about what I will accomplish, I’m more focused on things I want to change or practice more of. I know I’m moving back to Lexington. I know I’m moving to where my heart is happy. I’m going to stop trying to fix broken situation because I can’t fix it myself and I’m not getting any help. I read the perfect quote the other day that said

“At some point you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life”

So my heart is full of people but they don’t have to be in my life. I’m going to allow myself to be a little selfish this year and do what is going to make me happy. People do not have to agree but I hope if they love me enough they’ll understand. I also want to live more in the present than in the future. I am going to spend the next 4 1/2 months in school, studying, spending time with friends and taking as many road trips as I want. Sometimes it comes down to realizing that the people who want you in their lives will make time for you. I want to practice more grace and mercy and forgiveness. These are common themes in my life and I want them to play a bigger part. I want to live a more joyful and prosperous life (not in terms of money). I want to delve further into my faith. Start to develop my habits and become the believer I’m supposed to be. I want to love unconditionally. I’m always told not to put all my eggs in one basket. I understand the reasoning but why not. I want to go for things in life without reservations. I want to live a story worth telling and live a life with purpose. I want my life to start to reflect the woman I want to be. I believe I’m taking the right steps in this moment to do so. I’m praying for discernment in certain areas of my life. I’m praying for peace and to trust in the plan He has laid out for me. And of course I’ve prayed for forgiveness for not trusting in His plan all along and for grace.

So for this new year I want to start doing a lot of things in my life. I’ll fail at some and succeed at others but I’m going to try. I’m working on ways to keep myself accountable in this pursuit. It’s about life changes these days because sometimes it’s hard to take a true look at yourself and fix the bad BUT it’s good to look at yourself and realize that you can change and that everyone makes mistakes. It’s important to look at yourself and see the good as well. Take time to reflect on both.

So my hope for you in this new year is that you can reflect and start living your life as a story worthy of telling!

Happy New Year and be safe!

(here’s a little blog post that inspired all this http://donmilleris.com/2011/12/29/what-happens-when-you-stop-running/)

When words can’t express…

This Christmas season has been different from most. For the first time I struggled to get into my normal Christmas spirit. I was happy but something was missing. It’s been a rough year and it’s weighed down a lot of my joy. But one day I realized how much I have to be thankful for in my life. I can’t worry about what I can’t control BUT I can control how I react. So I decided to be thankful and love my blessings. As I’ve said before life isn’t easy and I don’t think I want it to be easy, these trials and troubles shape me. I worried I would become hardened by them I’ve become thankful and opened my eyes. I’m blessed beyond understanding. I’m blessed beyond what I deserve.

So this Christmas I don’t have the words to express what this past year has taught me. Just know I’m thankful. I’ve grown and been told by multiple people they can see a change (which is a great compliment). I’ve decided instead of worrying about the gifts I give people this year and wonder if it is enough….I’m going to focus on my relationships with people. Let them know they matter. Let them know how much they mean to me. I’m going to focus on love. grace. hope. honesty. thankfulness. in these relationships. I’m going to choose to be present in the moments we have together instead of worrying about the next thing I have to do. If I come back from this Christmas weekend tired I’ll be happy because I knew I spent my time focusing on the people who need/deserve my attention. The amount of time and love they put into me this past year is unbelievable and I’m grateful. So this Christmas I’m focusing on them and the abundant blessings God has put into my life.

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas weekend full of love! I appreciate each and everyone of you who takes time out of your day to read my thoughts, struggles, hopes and dreams. Thank you.

Merry Christmas.

Friday Links! (on a Saturday Morning)

So earlier this week I started thinking about what kind of links I wanted to do this Friday. Well as you can see it is Saturday and I am just now doing the post…oops. Somehow my Friday got away from me and I’m not sure how that happened. Oh well. I figured a day late is better than nothing at all!

First I must say that this Texts From Bennett site has been making its way around the internet. It claims to be real and I have met people in my life-like Bennett so that’s not hard for me to believe. It makes me laugh … a lot so I’m not really concerned if it is real or not. Warning the language can be a little much but the spelling and grammar mistakes are too funny.

I posted this on my FB page but I can’t stop laughing at this pictures. One thing you learn quickly about me is I LOVE the University of Kentucky. I mean absolutely love it. Love the school, can’t wait to get my masters from there, love the football team, love the basketball team. I support the players past when they are done at the school. I actively support the Bronco’s because Wesley Woodyard plays for them, Green Bay Packers because they have Randall Cobb and Tim Masthay, Washington Wizards because of John Wall, Detroit Pistons because of Tayshaun Prince and Brandon Knight and the Sacramento Kings because of DeMarcus Cousins and Chuck Hayes. Get the point I love them. Well every once in a while there is player that comes along and you can’t help but love. Not only for their skills but their personality. That is DeMarcus Cousins! They published his photos from media day and hilarious is all I can say. So funny and his quotes are sarcastic and funny. Here are the pictures and a quote from one of my all time favorite blogs Kentucky Sports Radio. Oh DeMarcus thank you for the laugh this week!

Have to include this little crafty post for the week. Headbands…favorite accessory (well maybe tied with a scarf). I’m wearing one with a big black sequins bow as I type. Here is a DIY Ribbon Wrapped Headband from Lil Boo Blue. Enjoy!

Alright I’m off to spend the weekend in my favorite place…LEXINGTON! Christmas party with some dear friends tonight. I’m sure it will include lots of laughter and hilarious gifts. I will probably be blushing the entire time. What’s life without a little embarrassment! Have a fabulous weekend!

 

Peace.

It’s sometimes funny how themes run in our lives. No matter which way I turned earlier this week the theme of perseverance and trials were abundant. They were in my daily devotion, my Bible reading and in my book I read at the gym. This verse came up and while I’ve heard it multiple times in multiple sermons it just took on a whole new meaning this week.

“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.” – Romans 5: 3-4

I never think to rejoice during my problem times. I think to complain and be negative. But this week something changed on Monday. I don’t like being negative. I like smiling and I love laughing. So even though there are problems I’m going to rejoice in them learn. I’m going to allow my character to be strengthened and allow myself to form new habits of hope and perseverance. Because my character is what people will remember. They will remember how I reacted and how I treated others. I want to be remembered as someone good, who loved with everything she had.

Along with the theme of perseverance comes the idea of peace. I think we all want peace. I want peace in my life. Not for everything to be perfect but peace. I was reading while at the gym Cold Tangerines, which is a book I will continue to read and re-read for a long time, and I came upon the section where she talks about her struggle with weight and body image. She makes the statement that when she finally found peace in that area she realized that didn’t mean life was perfect or that she had peace in all areas. I have known for a while that just because I have peace in one area doesn’t mean life will be perfect but I had the hope that things would ‘fall’ into place. Now I’m finding peace in the idea that things aren’t perfect but that doesn’t mean they will always be bad. That because my living situation will be changing for the better it doesn’t mean everything else will be perfect. But I’m happy with my choices and I have peace in that. I have hope for the first time in a while that no matter what happens my happiness and peace and my self worth come from within and shouldn’t be affected by outside circumstances. I know everyday won’t be easy. But it’s worth it. That’s what matters.

“Peace isn’t the absence of conflict, but the ability to cope with it.”

 

Friday links! (Pinterest Edition)

Something about the holidays just makes me feel like a crafty person. I like creating things but with my renewed interest in Pinterest and all the crafty things available on there my desire to create has been heightened. So this Friday will be a lot of links about craftiness.

First I love headbands. I have one that is a big sequin bow and it just gives a little bit extra when I wear it. Even if it is just a t-shirt and scarf. Well on I found this little DIY project earlier today on Pinterest. You can create a headband, bracelet, necklace and ring from just a t-shirt! Love. (Tripping Over Joy)

I love how the internet has create a tutorial on how to do almost anything. It is amazing the connection we can have with people. I have bangs. I kinda love them…sometimes. Because I have such dark hair a lot of times the french braid thing doesn’t look too good. Well I found this tutorial and I can’t wait to try it out. I says it is quicker than a french braid so we will see and I’ll TRY to remember to tell you how it worked.

I just noticed I’m using I love a lot in this post. Well here is another thing I love…wrapping presents. I try and make pretty bows…key word try. well here is a little guide to making nice and pretty bows. I love the colors and it looks like they are using magazine strips. GENIUS. (100 Layer Cake-blog) I visited this blog as well and they have some pretty cool wedding ideas…probably should pass this along to my sister!

I try not to take the librarian title to the extreme but I truly love books. I love the way books look sat around a living room. They are great for decorating and discussion topics and in general awesomeness. Well I think this lamp is a great way to use some old books. I think you can probably find the books you need at a yard sale, half priced book store, flea market or peddlers mall and not pay that much! (HGTV via Pinterest, of course)

So go on your merry way and create some stuff this weekend!

“If you ever felt like giving up, remember why you kept holding on”

Shake it Out!

So one of my favorite bloggers tweeted about this song this other day … “Shake it Out” by Florence + the Machine. I thought why not go check it out, usually we don’t have the same taste in music by why not try it. Let me tell you I was blown away by the relevance this song has to my life right now.

Recently, as in the last 2 months my life has changed quite a bit. I’ve gone from being so concrete in my decisions to being reminded that everything can change in a matter of weeks. I’ve realized that my pride has been hurting me more than I thought, and I hadn’t quite come just as far as I thought in regards to other people opinions in my life. As painful as these moments in life are I’ve learned they are necessary for growing. That it’s during these moments we realize just how strong we are and just who we can rely on in life. I’ve learned that moving on doesn’t mean giving up just means that right now there isn’t much hope in the situation. So I’m hurting myself more by staying in the situation. I’ve learned that others will have opinions about what I should do in just about any situation in my life. Whether is be who I spend my time with, how often I drive to Lexington, if I move, where I should go to school and just about anything else you can nit-pick about me. I’ve been broken down and cried because I’m tired of defending myself and my decisions. I know my heart and I know my intentions I just wish people would trust that I do know what I’m doing a little bit, and that I know I may end up hurt but life hurts. Life isn’t easy and it isn’t about playing the safe road.

I’ve had to make a hard decision recently. It’s going to change a lot in my life and I’ve taken a lot of slack for it because sometimes people don’t believe I’ve thought things through. I’ve decided Lexington is where I want to be. That if I end up there permanently that it’ll be ok. I’m not moving for just one reason. I’m moving for a multitude of reasons. I don’t know what the future holds and if anyone knows me well they know I do not make rash decisions. I’ve been thinking things through for a while. I decided why wait 18 months for a move when I’m kind of unhappy and the move can be made in May. I’m terrified of what could happen but I have that feeling that this is right. I’m terrified I’ll end up with a broken and battered heart but life isn’t easy and not sure I want the easy path. My heart has hope once again, it’s something I didn’t have when I moved to Indy. I didn’t have this type of hope and faith. I had to learn … a lot. and obviously I’m not done learning. But I’m happy with my decisions. I don’t have many regrets in my life. The move to Indy will never be considered a bad move because I’ve grown leaps and bounds here. I’m going to keep on my merry little way and smile. Because that is what I do best.

So enjoy this video, get up and dance, and just shake it off today:

Craft time! Cards!

So I need to admit something. I keep almost any card that is sent to me. Whether it is a birthday, graduation, valentines day or just a any day card. There is something about going back through them that makes me smile. Like reminds me how loved I am. Well I have been looking for something to do with these cards for a while. I didn’t want to just put them in a box and I came across this on one of my favorite blogs (yes i know this is for “christmas picture cards”) but I think it works just as well for me. Nice thing is I already have a hole punch and the metal claspy things she recommends…and the best time to start this project…11 pm at night.

Here is what I started with:

A huge pile of cards, three hole punch and some binder rings!

Next I just divided my cards out into the different “books” I wanted to make. So I did a graduation card, birthday card, cards from my momma and cards from my friends book!

After dividing them I started punching holes in the cards:

This is what took the longest…mainly because I started looking and reading all the cards again. I found gems like this card from one of my college roommates Val:

She drew out a scenario that incorporated most of the funniest moments during our time as roommates our sophomore year! It made me smile.

Next I put the binder rings through all the holes and clipped it shut. Then end book ended up looking like this:

          

This was my graduation book! The great thing about the binder rings is they allow you to still open the card!

Here are the four ‘books’ that I have now:  

I love them! I can add to the books whenever I want because the binder rings allow you to add new cards. Also, I can buy different sizes in the future if the book gets to big…but I think at that point I’ll start throwing some of the old ones out. Now I can organize these on my bookshelf!

So now that this craft project is finished and it has started me on a major “cleansing” project. I’ve started going through my stuff and getting rid of what I do not need. Like clothes, papers, junk. etc. It feels good to throw out un-needed stuff. I’m preparing for a move in the next 6 months and I want to streamline the process as much as possible.

I’m also on a major baking kick. I’m going to bake some pumpkin bread this weekend and maybe just maybe these mini corn loaves from who else The Pioneer Woman. I’m pretty excited to try them!