60 blog posts! Crazy! I have a lot to say so I’m not really sure I should be surprised! This is big though, not just because of 60 but because I am 8 days away from moving back to Kentucky. It seems like I have been looking forward to this day for a while. I’m happy, anxious, at peace, proud, with a little hint of scared (not doubt or fear). I knew when I made the decision to move I would have to defend it some. I also chose to keep most of the reasons I’m moving close to my heart. That I didn’t need opinions on them. That I didn’t need anyone else to decide for me what I should do. That’s part of growing up isn’t it? Making decisions, for yourself. I am proud to say I fully believe with everything in me I’ve made the right decision. I didn’t make the decision for anyone else. I made it for me.
With that said I think it’s only right to look back at this time in Indianapolis in a positive light! I’ve learned so much, I’ve grown as a woman, I’ve realized dreams, and found some of my dreams weren’t meant to be. That failure isn’t so bad, that I need to be ok with who I am, I’ve grown in confidence, I’ve tried new things, I’ve let go of pain, I let go of my old beliefs, I learned how to accept love, I’ve learned what I want in life, I’ve absolutely learned to never say never. I know I never want my heart to grow cold, I know that no matter how many times I’ve been hurt I never want to shut people out, that I always want to accept and forgive. I’m also learning though when giving too much of myself can hurt me, that it’s not selfish to put myself first once in a while. To stop and say I need a minute or I need some support. I’ve learned that when I think I’m going to break I find that last little bit of strength to get me through. That I’m a better person when I’m reading my Bible and doing the things I’m supposed to be doing. My heart is bigger and more open than ever before. I’ve learned how to handle hard situations and how not to handle some things. That some friendships aren’t meant to last forever, people change, we grow and not always together. That forgiveness is one of the best things in life.
I’ve learned who my true home team is, who the roots in my life are, and where my heart feels most at home. That at 25 its ok to just realize that your passion might not always be what you thought. That I can make changes and not be a loser. That having a family and career at this moment wasn’t meant for me. But that I’m ready more than ever for those two things. Sometimes it’s about being ready and my timing isn’t always ready. That I’ve experienced and moved and traveled and that’s been a good character builder, a good learning opportunity for me. Moving home isn’t giving up, it’s getting something right and allowing myself to be the person I am meant to be.
I’m sure more thoughts on this will come throughout the next week and I’ll write more then but for today I leave you with 2 of my favorite John Steinbeck (not sure how I haven’t read him until now but better late than never) Quotes that relate to my life perfectly these days:
“And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.”
“Don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens – The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.”