Disappointment.

I feel like the theme of this week was disappointment. It wasn’t all bad but not a lot of good news came my way. I didn’t get the job I wanted. I still can’t figure my heart out. I can’t control my heart. (I think those last two go hand in hand) … I can’t get my business up and running. I can’t save my money. Lots of things I want to do but I feel like there are tons of roadblocks. Thing is this time I’m not letting disappointment stop me. I’m moving right along and I’m trying to figure this thing out. Tear after tear. Step after step. This heart has done a lot of breaking recently but sometimes broken things are stronger when put back together. I believe that I wasn’t asked to be patient for no reason. I don’t believe that I’ve been waiting and will not be rewarded. I’ve always believed I will be. Until that time comes I want to live with grace, and love, and hope. Because I’m not sure there is any other way to live. Or I’m not sure I want to know any other way of living.

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Praying and thanks.

I found this old post yesterday from one of my daily blogs. It kinda describes what I’m feeling lately.

I have forgotten how to pray.

It’s simple yet so true for me.

Life’s been good. It’s been crazy. It’s been eye opening. It’s been a great reminder of living in the moment. It’s been lots of smiles. A couple hard conversations. Tons of great memories.

I’d like to not forget about praying.

Thank you is something I should do more of as well. I’m not ready to write about it yet but I’m very thankful for the people in my life. They each give something great and make me a better person. I learn and hopefully give them as much as they give me.

This week has also reminded me just how relevant Garth Brooks is with ‘unanswered prayers’

That’s all for tonight. Today had been a day full of emotional overjoys for the people in my life. I’m tired but falling asleep smiling.

Blank pages.

So it’s been a little while, a busy little season here in my life. Moving, moving, and moving some more has happened. It’s been fun. I got to relax, spend some time in the sun, see a lot of good friends. What I’ve learned is that I am not meant to be a gypsy. I do not like living out of my suitcases ha ha. I like having choices and I miss my Kitchenaid mixer. I’ve spent quite a bit of  my time in Lexington at my pool, with my roomie and playing volleyball. Just a side note it is confirmed I am not good at volleyball. I have hit myself in the face and I have fallen, like completely fallen sideways while playing. Those are usually not skills people look for in volleyball players. So I think marking that off as a possible career is a good idea.

Being home has been fun, it is a blessing and it has been great for my heart. I feel renewed and inspired. I want to accomplish great things in my life and being happy is a big key to that. Sometimes being better though comes at looking truly at yourself and seeing how others see you. It isn’t always pretty but its good. Who we are around helps to mold us and shape us. Who we chose to have in our lives is reflected in our attitudes and actions. I wrote on Twitter last night, my true feelings these days. I’m choosing to live in love and not fear. Forgiveness instead of resentment. Happiness over sadness. Hope over desperation.

It’s one of my new years resolutions to TRY and I’m going to give a more conscious effort to be a better friend, a better woman and be better at watching my words and actions.