Unplanned & Ever-Changing

The sun was shining brightly in my eyes, I tried shielding them as I had forgotten my sunglasses in my friends purse the night before. This wasn’t the night I had expected or planned. See I had planned on reading/spending some time studying before my meeting. Instead I received a call asking me for a ride. At first I selfishly admit at first I didn’t want to give up my time that night but I just knew I am called to do more. That this would be time well spent.

That night I was blessed more than I gave or deserve with a great conversation, and an understanding into who my co-pilot really is. She’s a woman doing her best to provide for her daughters, who isn’t looking for handouts, and truly wants better. She thinks that I sacrificed that night but really God used her to show me something, to remind me.

When we chose to really see people we usually can relate to some part of their story. See I grew up in a not so wealthy family. My parents did everything they could to provide for my sister and I, which allowed me to grow up not realizing how much they sacrificed. Being able to tell my co-pilot my story, my heart and why I am the way I am, was a blessing.

My goal is to make her see she is noticed, she’s not forgotten, we’re similar. It’s not about “changing” people. It’s about reminding them who they were created to be, who the God of the universe made. He thought about us, he put us in time at this very moment to do something. He didn’t haphazardly create you or me. He put thought, care, and purpose in everyone. Sometimes it takes a unplanned drive and an evening with a stranger to remind me just who I am.

God uses moments like this, because honestly this week has been long, and it’s been hard. Hard lessons have been learned, weaknesses pointed out, and faults magnified BUT in the end I’m on the road toward Christ. On the road to a better me, to the best me. I will never arrive there but I do know if daily I put my selfishness aside, lift my hands up and say what would you like me to do today, and stop trying to fit God into my plan that I will be better than I was yesterday. This life is ever-changing and it’s beautiful. I’m choosing to see people for the beauty they are, knowing God created better stories than we’re telling. I’m letting his grace wash over me, and I’m learning to listen for his voice and guidance. I’m loving and serving because I know my purpose is within those things. I know he gives me the strength and the joy to complete this race and I know it’s his encouragement that gets me through hard days. I know he’s working in my life and in the lives of so many around me. I’m grateful to be able to live this life.

Psalm 43:3–4
3.Send out your light and your truth; let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling!
4.Then I will go to the altar of God, to God my exceeding joy, and I will praise you with the lyre, O God, my God.


I see you.

Sometimes we just need those friends to show up. I wasn’t scared to get the tattoo, I knew it would sting but it wouldn’t hurt, I just need the friend to stand there with me saying I accept your need for this. I accept and love you, just how you are. No Questions Asked.

When someone looks at you at says “I see you. I don’t see your past, your past relationships, your past mistakes, your sins. I see you the person. I see who you are.” I can’t tell you how beautiful that is and why it is important. Our pasts shape us, it moves into our presents and futures far to often though. The past controls more than we should let it, by we I mean me. I find myself unworthy and decide so does everyone else. I’ve written about this struggle before. The fear of people just walking out of my life when they get to know me. What I deem the real me. Then someone says those simple words “I see you” and it’s freeing. Allows me to dream without limits. It’s a daily choice though.  A daily choice to bury the past and remember what my future is made of.

My future is planned by a God who dreams bigger than I could. I struggle to remember that.  I wish I could tell you that at 28 I had one ounce of my life together  but honestly I don’t. I think it’s ok. I remember that God see’s me, he hasn’t forgotten me and he placed people in my life who see me.

So to those night-time dreamers, those sinners who feel controlled, I see you. I see you for you, that heart of yours that desires goodness. That heart that wants to change the world but you’re not sure how to yet. Just be you, unfearfully you. Love God, love the people around you and be joyful. Change the world with your daily actions. Change the world by smiling at someone. Change the world by spreading joy. It’s hard to be in a place of waiting, I’m there now but I know that God is working in this waiting. I know when that door opens what God has planned for me will blow me away. That my past, present and future will melt together into this beautiful story.  A story of mistakes, a story of redemption, a story of questions but more importantly a story of hope and love.