Sometimes we just need those friends to show up. I wasn’t scared to get the tattoo, I knew it would sting but it wouldn’t hurt, I just need the friend to stand there with me saying I accept your need for this. I accept and love you, just how you are. No Questions Asked.
When someone looks at you at says “I see you. I don’t see your past, your past relationships, your past mistakes, your sins. I see you the person. I see who you are.” I can’t tell you how beautiful that is and why it is important. Our pasts shape us, it moves into our presents and futures far to often though. The past controls more than we should let it, by we I mean me. I find myself unworthy and decide so does everyone else. I’ve written about this struggle before. The fear of people just walking out of my life when they get to know me. What I deem the real me. Then someone says those simple words “I see you” and it’s freeing. Allows me to dream without limits. It’s a daily choice though. A daily choice to bury the past and remember what my future is made of.
My future is planned by a God who dreams bigger than I could. I struggle to remember that. I wish I could tell you that at 28 I had one ounce of my life together but honestly I don’t. I think it’s ok. I remember that God see’s me, he hasn’t forgotten me and he placed people in my life who see me.
So to those night-time dreamers, those sinners who feel controlled, I see you. I see you for you, that heart of yours that desires goodness. That heart that wants to change the world but you’re not sure how to yet. Just be you, unfearfully you. Love God, love the people around you and be joyful. Change the world with your daily actions. Change the world by smiling at someone. Change the world by spreading joy. It’s hard to be in a place of waiting, I’m there now but I know that God is working in this waiting. I know when that door opens what God has planned for me will blow me away. That my past, present and future will melt together into this beautiful story. A story of mistakes, a story of redemption, a story of questions but more importantly a story of hope and love.