Communication is hard. It takes work and what I’m learning is sometimes I screw up. Words do not come out as I’d like, ideas are not explained as easily. Needs are not said. But I’m also learning, relationships, ALL relationships are work. It’s about forgiveness and understanding. It’s about messing up, apologizing, and trying again. It’s about being vulnerable when necessary and saying I need your help. I need to apologize. I need to be heard. That is ok. We do not always agree, it’s not the end of the world.
I’m having to re-train my brain to think positive sometimes. To give grace when I screw up words. To TRUST when someone says they understand what I meant and that they aren’t mad. To trust it all in God’s hands, which hasn’t always been an issue. Trust that because the answer is right now is “No” that it isn’t a forever, it might just be a “Not Right Now.” Knowing He is good and trusting He is good. He has a reason for these circumstances. We do not have to understand to let it be. I think this is part of me overcoming my anxiety in the day to day. I used to hide it, be positive all the time & hide the tears at home. I just do not have time for that anymore. I would rather help one other person know that it’s ok. That admitting you struggle with anxiety is ok. It doesn’t make you any less of a Christian. It doesn’t mean you do not believe. Just means you need a little extra help. You can be joyful and have anxiety. You can be happy and have anxiety.
At 29, I believe it’s better to say how you feel, build people up, love without limits, and be honest about our struggles. You are good. You are messy. You are living this life. Pat yourself on the back. Take your time. Support other people. Encourage. Give Love Even If It Isn’t Reciprocated.